Why “How Are You?” Often Isn’t Enough

I’ve realised that “How are you?” is one of those questions we ask without really meaning it. Not because we don’t care — but because it’s become a habit.

Most people don’t answer the question anyway. They answer the expectation.

“I’m fine.” “All good.” “Busy.”

Real connection doesn’t come from the question. It comes from the moment someone feels safe enough to bring their actual experience into the room.

Sometimes that’s a story. Sometimes it’s a small truth. Sometimes it’s just someone saying, “I’ve been carrying this for a while.”

When that happens, the conversation changes. And wellbeing becomes something shared, not reported.